Anheuser Busch CEO Admits the Bud Light Brand Will Never Recover: “We’ll Probably Scrap It”

CEO of InBev’s American Operations Alex Joseph Barron says the Bud Light brand will likely “never recover.”

“It’s a tainted name now,” Barron told us in an exclusive interview, “Think AirTran. It didn’t matter what they did, they would always be ValuJet. A name that invokes an eternal layover in the Everglades.”

Bud Light is, indeed, in its death throes. As sales plummet and stocks expire and get tossed in the garbage, the company hemorrhages cash.

“We’ve lost Billions,” said Barron, “and not just in some magical market cap that will reappear in next year’s portfolio. Real money. Product. People are losing their jobs. Breweries are closing. We completely underestimated the power of the boycott.”

Barron still never offered an apology, just an acknowledgment that the Dylan Mulvaney campaign was “misguided.” Until he does apologize, we’ll keep writing these stories and punishing Bud Light as often as possible. Unlike InBev, ALLOD knows exactly what true patriots really want.

We’ll stop short of the actual fantasies, of course, since far too many are rooted in some sort of homoerotica, but we’ll be happy to give Garth Brooks a good spanking online so you can picture it for yourselves at home.

There’s no shortage of material, patriots. We look forward to serving your rage. God Bless America.

Related Posts

Jansen Panettiere, the brother of actress Hayden Panettiere, was discovered dead at the age of 28.

w details about Jansen Panettiere’s terrible and unexpected death have emerged, showing how the 28-year-old actor was discovered. Friends found Jansen’s body after he failed to show…

This 80s icon transitioned from modeling to music. Here’s how she looks four decades later.

Samantha Fox, born on April 15, 1966, in Mile End, London, England, grew up with a deep passion for the performing arts. From a young age, she…

JENNIFER ANNISTON!

Matthew Perry’s recent passing has left a void in the entertainment world, with global mourning and his close friends deeply affected. The 54-year-old actor, renowned for his…

SAD NEWS – GEORGE W. BUSH

Former President George W. Bush recently made headlines for bouncing the ceremonial first pitch at the World Series opener. His daughter, Jenna Bush Hager, shed light on…

People Go Crazy on the Beach Over This Mom Breastfeeding Her Baby

These Breastfeeding Photos by a Mom Have Blown Up the Internet – See What Everyone’s Talking About! Click the Photo or The Link Below for more:  

TRUMP UNEXPECTED ANNOUNCEMENT

Former President Donald Trump is becoming more and more popular in regions of the country where it would have seemed unimaginable to some. The former president demonstrated…

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *