ABC is doing everything it can to keep from shutting down The View, according to inside sources close to the show. Talk around the office is that Joy Behar and Whoopi Goldberg, who have taken huge pay cuts for each of the last three years, will be hit again — this time for as much as half of their pay.

The show started flailing when it lost its conservative audience shortly after Goldberg took over officially for Barbara Walters. There hasn’t been a credible conservative on the show since Elizabeth Hasselbeck left. More recently, the show started shedding independents as well when the two stars refused to stop calling Kyle Rittenhouse, who a majority of young Americans see as a hero, a murderer.

Now, only leftists watch as Whoopi and Joy cry about social issues while the show’s ratings plummet. With nowhere left to go but MSNBC after this, the pair might want to start thinking about how they want to retire.

Show spokesman, Art Tubolls, says the producers want to give some new themes a try. “Joe Barron, our EP, wants to do some neat new stuff,” said Tubolls, “he wants people to experience the show through the hosts’ eyes. They’re considering everything from virtual reality old lady glasses like the ones Joy sports and possibly even psychoactive dreadlocks that glue onto a freshly-shaved head.”

None of the new EP’s ideas have been through vetting or legal. We’ll keep you updated.