This was bigger than any Taylor Swift concert. People came from as far as Pittsburgh and Baltimore to see Jason Aldean perform. They danced and sang and cheered. It certainly was a sight to see. This was peak America.

And he pulled out all the hits. Of course he played “Small Town”, but also classics like “My Sister Tastes Like My Cousin”, “Blame It On The Meth” “Caught My Wife With The Horse Again” and the seminal favorite “I Hate Gay People”

We caught up with local residents Joe Barron and Sandy Batt at the whites only restroom where he was A Framing her in stall B, where they said this was the first date they’ve had in a long time, with him being locked up for stealing catalytic converters and her in rehab for drugs. “She’s my favorite cousin” he exclaimed. Obviously.

Looking over the crowd it was a sea of white, unwashed faces, each looking dumber than the last waiting for their favorite song to be played, waving confederate flags even though they were above the Mason Dixon line where the south was handed their own ass.

But it’s obvious that a good time was had by all, between the really bad music, the MAGA hats, the not subtle at all racist overtones, and the incest, of course the incest, it was a rousing success. God bless America!